I am starting to realise that the only person who doesn't like me, is me... But that is slowly changing as I realise that actually I am quite a nice person. This is helping me cope with my size and thoughts about myself and perhaps will help my weight loss.

For a long time I have thought of my fat as protection. It allows me to feel protected and distanced from 'normal' people.

I had always thought people were just almoost humouring me by speaking to me or anything. But looking at things, perhaps a little more sanely, I can see that is wrong/crooked thinking.

I am married to a man who loves me for me. I have the unconditional love of my daughter. A family that loves me. Friends and colleagues that I am now starting to appreciate are being genuine when they want to spend time with me, etc.

Evidence against will always be my dad and brother. But I guess that is something I will always have to live with and try my best to come to terms with.

All in all though I am starting to like myself and let myself enjoy company and laughter without my negative invading thoughts telling myself different. Woo hoo at long last.

Diet wise? What I'm trying to diet? Really? Ah well, I shall have to try harder!!

But here is a little step forward in the whole accepting myself thing which I just had to record...