What a day. Very busy and went well but now I feel really flat.

Foodwise I had a bar for breakfast and then that was all until I got home, so until about 7pm that's all I had... and only about 1 ltr of water. Not like me at all. So that leads me to the conclusion that being kept busy means I don't feel hunger. Or I am so into this ketosis lark that I'm not feeling the hunger now. Who knows.

Why do I feel down though. Maybe I'm just tired. Had a laugh at work today but felt maybe I'd pushed it a bit far. It's strange feeling really comfortable with people and doing that and then something in me regrets it. I left myself open and vulnerable. So strange the way thoughts and emotions work.

Maybe it's because of what I was thinking about in my last blog and putting into words. I guess I don't really think about it a lot so it may only be natural for me to dwell on it a wee bit. Thoughts have a funny way of creeping into your head without you realising it. I've been lost in my own world a lot this afternoon, catching myself staring into space but not being able to put a finger on exactly what I was thinking about...

I'm still trying the 'Fake it till I make it' mantra but I'm having a bit of trouble with it lately. I feel like I'm changing and I was actually feeling good about myself, the way I look at the moment. Yes a way to go I know, but I was beginning to see that yes, I had lost weight and yes I was looking quite good. However, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I hated what I saw. And this is me improved so far.

That is not good thinking though. It is crooked thinking but the dominating thoughts nonetheless. Where or where is that switch in my head? I want to flick it so much and pull myself together(!).

Mothership wise, well she hasn't been in touch until today. Three whole days without contact(!). She left me a voicemail at work and on my mobile. Saying nothing urgent and she just wanted to see how I was. I quite frankly can't bring myself to speak to her at the moment. So I shall wait and see. I don't have the strength to speak to her tonight anyway.

So, in an attempt to pull myself together, hot bath, read of my book and a bit of a pamper session. Moisturise and nails me thinks. Then some husband love. That should hopefully re-balance things nicely!!